Woof Watchers

Peoples, for weeks now I has been mostly eating dust, grass, and stolen cat poop. The pet Doc said Jazz was looking 'tubby' and I had losted my waistline. Don't like that pet Doc no more 'cos mummy and the 'Uman 'sisted we go on a diet after this news. Evil things diets. Dont like 'em. I is Merlin de First, I needs treats!

Yesterday I understood mummy's hatred of these fings...

So people's I climbded aboard and sitted down. I tried to trick the weigher by giving mummy a paw. Didn't work. Moment later pet Doc (a new one) gave the verdict. 1kg losted in three weeks. Get in! I rocks, People's. I rocks. 

Jazzy the tubby (sniggering behind my paw) got on next and she'd losted a grand total of 300gms. No I didn't  speled that rong. 300grams. Also kown as -- nothing. 

Do you know what that mean's, people's?

No?

It mean's the diet continues.

Do I look happy to you? All doggie bags gratefully received at Starving Pooch, P.O. Box 300. Feed me, UK.

Thank you please, Merlin Rules.