What is it for....?

I have been watching 'No Merlin!' for the last couple of days and notcied the appearance of these things in the garden.



At first I thought she was tunneling for freedom. Now I have spotted two others appearing. This makes three holes of three different sizes.

I have also been watching 'No Merlin!' following the pants cats around quite a lot. There are three of those. In three different sizes....

Curiouser, and curiouser.....

Identity Crisis....!

This is a tunnel for the Pants cats to play with....



..... and this is 'No Merlin!' playing inside it.

I thought she was bright.....

.... I may have been wrong!

It's not so bad....

I have come to the conclusion that captivity is not really that bad. the sleeping facilities are fairly comfy....


The bribes are ok.....



And there is this thing called BBQ night. Its on a 'Sunday', and I nearly managed a major miracle. I got my teeth around a thing the 'umans call 'steak'. It was taken away very quickly, but I got a taste. I will remember and continue to try again in future.

As I have decided to accept my captivity I have decided to label the 'umans, One and Two.

The black and white monster is labeled 'Jazz' and is actually really nice to me. She plays with me quite a lot.



and she lets me take her treats off her so it's all good.

It may have potential....

I took 'No Merlin!' for a walk through the Pinewoods to wells-next-the-sea from Holkham beach. I let the two Mummies come of course, they were required for driving us there and paying for the bus back.

I was attempting to teach 'No Merlin!' the general purpose of sticks and there role in our world.



There may yet be hope for the young one!

I'm sorry sir but you can't check in....

Today was a bit of a nightmare in the information centre. It is where all the people come to get told the rules of my campsite when they want to come and stay. Auntie Sophie and my Mummy had gotten all the pieces of paper ready for the arrival of the peoples. The papers have the rules on bbq's and noises on them and what square they can put there canvass house on.

Today 'No Merlin!' got hold of the paper rules and started to eat them.

Bad 'No Merlin!'. Bad puppy.

My Mummy was very upset and 'straught at this behaviour. I had to take her for a walk around my campsite for a fag and a breather.

I am beginning to think I must hang my head in shame at 'No Merlin!'s behaviour.

The appearance of 'No Merlin!' in my life....

I miss Jasper, so my Mummy and Mummy 2 decided to get me a new friend to play with. they arrived with 'No Merlin!'.

A border collie puppy with blue eyes and what my Mummy calls 'the look'.



See what she means.... I'll never get any fuss now!

Anyway 'No Merlin!' likes to bite and chase the Mummies feet all the time and steals all my food! I have decided though, I like puppy food.

I will keep you up to date with 'No Merlin's!' progress. I may have to teach her some things as my Mummy said 'the collie is strong in this one!'

Pistols at dawn!

The puppy is being very naughty. She keeps chasing the pants cats around. Mummy's are not very impressed with this at all and keep telling her to stop. 'No Merlin!' takes no notice and carry's on. Last night Mummy 2 came home 'packing heat'. She did something at the kitchen sink and then next time 'No Merlin!' went to chase the cats she squirted her with water. It was very funny.

Mummy 2 did this a few times then the naughty puppy decided this was a new game and 'No Merlin' walked over while Mummy 2 was shooting her and started to drink the water from the gun.

Mummy 2 looked upset and my Mummy just laughed and laughed.

'No Merlin!' has got some serious learning to do.

Boats, broads and Banana's!

Yesterday I discovered the Norfolk broads.



The 'umans also put me in this stupid, stupid thing. See. Stupid.



I look like a plonker!

On the way home the 'umans stopped at a place called 'Mackie's' for thick shakes. One chocolate and one mystery. The chocolate one apparently tasted wrong. Like banana. She didn't like banana, so took it back to get another one. Which also tasted like banana. In the end she got a coke. She wasn't happy. blah blah broken machine. blah blah hate bananas. blah blah wanted my chocolate. and on and on....

Nearly home she turns to the other lady and says 'how was your milk shake?'

'Lovely.'
'Did you have vanilla?'
'No'
'Strawberry?'
'No'
'You had banana didn't you?'
..................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................'Yes.'

'it's all your fault! You banana'd the machine!'


They're lunatics!

Pants cats and Super hard puppies!

Captivity gets more confusing everyday.

The 'umans today showed me things the call 'pants cats'.





They call the grey one 'thena', and the other one 'Herc'. 'Herc' was nasty to me and tried to hit me. I was super fast though and escaped. Yay me.

The other one is a wuss and is scared of me. Super hard me.

They are about my size though and may be useful to my plans in the future as they get really good smelling food up on the top of this cupboard where i can't reach it. Bad 'umans. It should be on the floor then i can have some too. I am practising jumping and climbing to see if i can reach up the cupboard as their is a chair that the 'pants cat 'thena' uses to get up to the food. This may be may only hope.

Labeling

Day 2 of my captivity has been a little confusing.

The 'umans keep saying 'Merlin' at me, then waiting for me to do something. I don't know what. The black and white monster seems to look at the 'umans when they say the word 'Jazz'. They have also put a label on me. it's on this stringy thing around my neck. I tried to look at it, but I went cross eyed.

Food is still good and sleeping facilities are adequate.



I will continue to keep you up to date.

Abducted.

This is me.

I have been abducted from my mates and my Mum and transported in a rolling box from Lincoln to a place called Norfolk. (I looked on a map and it's the bit that looks like a fat bum on the UK.)

My first night in captivity was a bit of a blur. I may have been drugged because I slept. A lot. There is also a black and white monster that looks at me all the time. I think it hates me.


See this is me trying to soften it up for my escape. Doesn't look very likely does it?

The grub's ok and there aren't too many hungry mouths trying to get at it while i'm eating. They also are trying to bribe me with treats and toys. So far they have given me a teddy bear, some chewy thing thats supposed to taste like bacon... what's bacon? Some rope toy, and empty plastic bottle... well they didn't give me that one. I stole it. I also stole the shoes from one lady and the socks from the other. So they can't chase me. A belt off a dressing gown. and some paper they keep putting on the floor. Not figures that one out yet. Maybe they're just messy?

Gotta go. They may be watching.

I will keep you informed of my progress.