Woof Watchers

Peoples, for weeks now I has been mostly eating dust, grass, and stolen cat poop. The pet Doc said Jazz was looking 'tubby' and I had losted my waistline. Don't like that pet Doc no more 'cos mummy and the 'Uman 'sisted we go on a diet after this news. Evil things diets. Dont like 'em. I is Merlin de First, I needs treats!

Yesterday I understood mummy's hatred of these fings...

So people's I climbded aboard and sitted down. I tried to trick the weigher by giving mummy a paw. Didn't work. Moment later pet Doc (a new one) gave the verdict. 1kg losted in three weeks. Get in! I rocks, People's. I rocks. 

Jazzy the tubby (sniggering behind my paw) got on next and she'd losted a grand total of 300gms. No I didn't  speled that rong. 300grams. Also kown as -- nothing. 

Do you know what that mean's, people's?

No?

It mean's the diet continues.

Do I look happy to you? All doggie bags gratefully received at Starving Pooch, P.O. Box 300. Feed me, UK.

Thank you please, Merlin Rules.

I is a Geniarse

People's, I has told you before about my school where I shot through all the beginner classes wiv ease. I started wiv the 'eveyone can turn up and run wild' class. I was a star there. Then I moved on to the 'you have to know what a jump and a tunnel is' class. I was a star there 2. Then I moved on to the 'spaniel' class. I was out numbered but still a star. Now people's, I has found my rightful place. I has moved up in the word and graduated to...

Collie Class.

Oh yes, I have gotten access. I am 'ceppted into the Collie Hall of Fame and the Inner Circle of Collieness.  I am CC registered with the High Shepherd of Collistinction. 

My Collie Class has flyball and agility in it all at the same time. Very special and requ..rekuir...needs a lot of special 'tention and skills. Collie's are 'specially good at this.

Mr. Martin--my teacer--says I is a dream dog to work and that I has 'tential. I likes Mr. Martin. He' a Collie man and a direct 'scendant of the High Shepherd line. 

Collie Class has rules, peoples. You must keep these to self...

Rule 1.  No Spaniels allowed in Collie Class.

Rue 2.  No Spaniels allowed in Collie Class.

Rule 3.  None Collie's in Collie Class must accet the rule of Collieness.

Rule 4. No telling Spaniels about Collie Class.

Rule 5.  Merlin de First rules. Thank you, please.

That is all peoples. Goodbye.

Something Special

People's I have been busy this week doing a'vanced preparations for the Deepdale Christmas Market. I have beened a busy pooch. I can't tell you too much 'bout it 'cos I don't want to give too much away, but if you come to the Market there's a game for my friends to play.

You have to find all the coloured paws around the market stalls. Some will be on the floor and some will be up high, and when you've found them all, you have to come and tell me the colours. 

If you get them all right, I'll give you a special surprise. How cool is that? 

In other news of the week...

Yesterday, Jazz and me took Mummy and the 'Uman to the beach and we saw something amaze-balls. Never seen one before in all of my life, but Jazz said she had once. It was a doubly rainbow right over the beach. The 'Uman said you could find pots of gold at the end of them, but it ended in the sea so we didn't go and look. See...







It was very windy, but it was a very nice walk. The only problem was afterwards. Mummy said we was to mucky to get in the car. We were a little bit soggy and covered in sand, so the 'Uman came up with this idea...

 

I don't think she knows who I am.