Woof Watchers

Peoples, for weeks now I has been mostly eating dust, grass, and stolen cat poop. The pet Doc said Jazz was looking 'tubby' and I had losted my waistline. Don't like that pet Doc no more 'cos mummy and the 'Uman 'sisted we go on a diet after this news. Evil things diets. Dont like 'em. I is Merlin de First, I needs treats!

Yesterday I understood mummy's hatred of these fings...

So people's I climbded aboard and sitted down. I tried to trick the weigher by giving mummy a paw. Didn't work. Moment later pet Doc (a new one) gave the verdict. 1kg losted in three weeks. Get in! I rocks, People's. I rocks. 

Jazzy the tubby (sniggering behind my paw) got on next and she'd losted a grand total of 300gms. No I didn't  speled that rong. 300grams. Also kown as -- nothing. 

Do you know what that mean's, people's?

No?

It mean's the diet continues.

Do I look happy to you? All doggie bags gratefully received at Starving Pooch, P.O. Box 300. Feed me, UK.

Thank you please, Merlin Rules.

Wild Camping...The Results.

The 'Uman is a numpti. A well trained numpti...but still a numpti (More of the training for 'Uman's in my next blog). Here is my reasoning for this denig...desing...insult!

When we went conkerin big mountains with Mummy and the 'Uman carrying big bags...the 'Uman had a fing over her bag that kept blowing in the wind.

The fing scared me...flappin in the wind. 'Uman also got her pants, gloves, and hat all wet...they froze over night in the mini house. It wasn't good. Mummy had to bash them against a rock so she could move them and carry on with the 'venturin.

See peoples...I was there!

 

It was very, very, very cold up there. I have to tell you peoples. So cold in fact that I had to make myself a little nest with the extra stuff I had the 'Uman carry up the mountain in Merlin's Kit list.

Did I mention that it was very, very, very, very, very, very cold up there peoples? No? Wel it was very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very cold up there!

So this was meant to be the route...

Gatesgarth farm up to Scarth Gap then we climb up Haystacks. Stay in the mini house till the morning then we go back to Scarth Gap and climb up Seat, High Crag, High Stile, Red Pike, then Great Borne for another night in the mini house. Next day then down to Scales Force waterfall and in to Buttermere village.  This is pretty much the Buttermere Round and lots of Peak baggin for Merlin's.

It didn't happen.

Instead we did this...

Gatesgarth farm to Scarth Gap then climbed...and I do mean climbed...Haystacks in a blizzard (That's what the 'Uman called it--Mummy said it was a bit of snow that obscurred the path a little bit and made it a little bit harder). We stayed in the mini house at Innominate Tarn...and then changed the route 'cos it was too snowy the next day. Mummy 'cided that the climbing back down Haystacks was too icy and dangerus. So we went to Blackbeck Tarn, Fleetwith Pike, Hoopers Quary, Honnister House, up to Dale Head, and stayed in the mini house at Dale Head Tarn. The next day we then went down the miners path into Newlands Valley and got to the cottage that the 'Uman had booked for the rest of the week.

It was an 'venture. Mummy took lots of very pretty photo's, I bagged some peaks, Jazz chased me a bit, we both rolled in sheep poo...and the 'Uman survived. Barely.

Pretty...

Merin thinks I was refering to her...not the gorgeous winter wonderland as the sun begins to set over the Tipi's at Deepdale Backpackers and camping.

Oh well!

It may have potential....

I took 'No Merlin!' for a walk through the Pinewoods to wells-next-the-sea from Holkham beach. I let the two Mummies come of course, they were required for driving us there and paying for the bus back.

I was attempting to teach 'No Merlin!' the general purpose of sticks and there role in our world.



There may yet be hope for the young one!

I'm sorry sir but you can't check in....

Today was a bit of a nightmare in the information centre. It is where all the people come to get told the rules of my campsite when they want to come and stay. Auntie Sophie and my Mummy had gotten all the pieces of paper ready for the arrival of the peoples. The papers have the rules on bbq's and noises on them and what square they can put there canvass house on.

Today 'No Merlin!' got hold of the paper rules and started to eat them.

Bad 'No Merlin!'. Bad puppy.

My Mummy was very upset and 'straught at this behaviour. I had to take her for a walk around my campsite for a fag and a breather.

I am beginning to think I must hang my head in shame at 'No Merlin!'s behaviour.

The appearance of 'No Merlin!' in my life....

I miss Jasper, so my Mummy and Mummy 2 decided to get me a new friend to play with. they arrived with 'No Merlin!'.

A border collie puppy with blue eyes and what my Mummy calls 'the look'.



See what she means.... I'll never get any fuss now!

Anyway 'No Merlin!' likes to bite and chase the Mummies feet all the time and steals all my food! I have decided though, I like puppy food.

I will keep you up to date with 'No Merlin's!' progress. I may have to teach her some things as my Mummy said 'the collie is strong in this one!'

Labeling

Day 2 of my captivity has been a little confusing.

The 'umans keep saying 'Merlin' at me, then waiting for me to do something. I don't know what. The black and white monster seems to look at the 'umans when they say the word 'Jazz'. They have also put a label on me. it's on this stringy thing around my neck. I tried to look at it, but I went cross eyed.

Food is still good and sleeping facilities are adequate.



I will continue to keep you up to date.