I'm makin' a list, He's checkin' it twice...

I'm makin' a list,

He's checkin' it twice,

He's gonna find out Jazz is naughty, I'm nice.

Santa paws is comin' to me,

Santa paws is comin' to me,

Santa paws is comin' to me...

He sees me chasing cats-ies
He sees me lick Mum's ear.
He knows when Jazz is bad or good
So she's got no chance this year!

So you'd better not eat
Your Mum's bestest shoes
Better not bark
I'm giving you clues

That Santa Paws is comin' to meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

Fank you, fank you. Fank you, please, fank you.

Last weekends, peoples, I was sevrere...sevarileee...really, really, disdapointed. The 'Uman was supposed to take me to see Santa Paws at the no-dogs shops letting dogs in for Santa Paws only. I was very, very, very, very, muchly, very e'cited 'bout dis. Mummy still can't drive, she's got a 'Uman paw problem. If she could, I knows we would have goned. But we didn't. I didn't get to tell Santa Paws my Christmas list, 'cos the 'Uman had to go work instead. Not good. Not good for Merlin's. If I don't tell Santa Paws what I neeeeeeeeeeed for Christmas he might not get me what I really, really need.

Today, mummy showed me an alternat...alenartiv...altana...another way.

Letta's.

I can send Santa Paws letters wiv my list of demands...I mean needs on. So here's my list, peoples...

Numba 1 - I really really really really really need my own kitten. Failing that a cat that works properly. Mine are broked. I found these options for Santa Paws in case he was stukded.

Numba 2 - I really really really needs a new bowl. Don't mind which eva Santa Paws wants to pick.

Numba 3 - just 'cos Jazz is tubby, I've been livin' on dust and cat poop, it's not 'ceptable peoples. I really really needs a Jurrasic Bone dis big. 

That is all.

I fink I have beened very reasonable in my demands...I mean requests. I've ritted twenty letters, just in case, but if you all could add them to your Santa Paws lists for me too...just in case, that would be e'cellent. 

Fank you please, Merlin rules.

_____ Come and meet Merlin and Jazz at Deepdale Backpackers & Camping on the beautiful north Norfolk coast http://www.deepdalebackpackers.co.uk

I'm back!

Peoples, mummy had been very busy monp...mompo....monpol....using my 'puter so I can't get on it and speks to my peoples. I am Merlin de First, and I is not happy 'bout this.

What has she been doing wiv my 'puter I hears you asking. Well, she's been writing words for a book. But now she's doned and this is what her mas'erpeace looks like. It's called Nightingale and its gonna be pubished next year.

Training for the weekend demo'strations!

Peoples, we're nearly ready for ya! Well, I am. Not sure abouts Effy...she hasn't been to skool to learn about jumps, and weaves and tunnels and fings. So me and Jazz have been showing her some stuff.

Can't have her letting the team down for the dog show and agility demo'strations on Sunday at my campsite...well Jazz says its her campsite. But we knows better don't we, Peoples!

Mummy says I have to plug the outdoor festival this week so that you all come to see me...I mean everything that's going on this weekend. So go here for more info'mation not about me, http://goo.gl/cGIhH

But I'll be there all weekend!

I have been to the Torture chamber...

Peoples I don't care how sad the 'Uman is. Her behaviour today has been unacceptable.

Unacceptable!

She took me...Merlin Bramhall (I'm dropping the Smith part from now on) de First and Jazzy Bramhall-Smith (she's got to keep it...cos I said so) to the Torture chamber.

Dese fings were the instrumnents of my abuse, Peoples!

I went in there a fine figure of a Collie. And now I look like this....

I have been scalped...pruned...de-furred!

I is practically nekid, Peoples!

It is an outrage!

I will have my revenge, Peoples.

Oh yes. *rubbing my little paws together...

Oh yes, I will have my revenge.

 

I wonder how hard it would really be to get those pictures of the 'Uman wiv pigtails afterall...

 

Grandad came to see me....just me.

Had a lovely dad wiv my grandad today. He cames to see me and we went for a lovely walk and then went for some lovely lunch...he let me 'ave some chips wiv gravy on 'em.

I love my Grandad when he comes to see me. Just me. That is all

It's lost de plot...

People's one of the pants cats was sick on Mummy's bed. She refuseded to sleeps in it 'cos it stunked. She said she could smell it even through lesbian-flu...must be bad. Yes proples, that is scarc...sarc...scasm...me being funny! Anyways, on wiv my story.

So the 'Uman 'cided to change bedding. See picture below.

It took some time. This is Merlin de first...shaking head in 'sgust.